I wonder what happened to my previous post… crashed? >.>

What is a Wapanese?

The Wapanese (also called “Japanophiles” or “Weeaboo”) are, much like wiggers, cultureless honkies trying to fill their cultural void by pretending not to be white (or any other races other than Japanese) — in this case, by humping the giant Godzilla leg of the Land of the Rising Sun until assimilated into its culture, as if being azn is some kind of acquired communicable disease. So badly do they wish this, in fact, that they are willing to dedicate entire afternoons to memorizing up to five common phrases in Japanese, later misusing them at the mall or furry conventions.

Identifying a wapanese

• Constantly bitching and moaning about the country they are currently living in (if it is not Japan). In the unlikely event that they have actually been to Japan, it is common for them to whine about wanting to go back every 20 minutes, e.g., “I wanna go to Japan T_T!!!!”
• Known for stubbornly defending Japan’s long history of IRL banhammering other races
• Thinking they are so badass, often posing with their katanas while wearing cosplay outfits they made for ComiCon. (See also: retard.)
• If a Wapanese cannot master the Japanese language and hoard enough Gaia gold to go to Japan, the yearly ComicCon in San Diego is the next best place to parade oneself around as a dumbfuck.
• In photographs, a Wapanese will always be shown making a peace sign with one hand, while squinting their eyes and contorting their facial features into a grotesque imitation of the ^_^ smiley, EVEN if they weren’t actually doing so when the picture was taken. For potential lulz, mention that America ironically made peace with Japan after nuking them. Step back and enjoy. For additional points, make some kind of additional joke about it being odd that they ddidn’t like Little Boy (unless they do).
• Wapanese have a tendency to mercilessly butcher the Japanese language, throwing around random words and phrases whilst completely ignorant to what they mean. For this reason, the term “Wapanese” can also refer to the language spoken by such sad individuals. Almost all Wapanese will pretend to know the Japanese language and will constantly go “I know Japanese!! Kawaii!!” when a Japanese or part-Japanese loli comes within 20 miles of the vicinity. Most Wapanese cannot actually sustain a conversation for more than five seconds with a Japanese person.
• Any self-respecting weeaboo will befriend any random azn in a 50-mile radius, regardless if the people they are befriending are Japanese or some other, “lesser” Azn race.
• Wapanese insult people using romaji, something that has nothing to do with the Japanese language.
• Listening to shitty J-rock bands nobody has ever heard of and believing that every male in japan is a hermaphroditic transvestite.
• Their life dream is not only to go to Japan, but also to break into the anime, manga or video game industry and have sex with all the blond-haired, blue-eyed Japanese girls they saw in Naruto.
• Collecting samurai swords and posing in photos with them is a common Wapanese habit.
• Often use big words like “pretentious”, “original” and “pseudo-intellectual.” Don’t be surprised if they misuse the semi-colon in an attempt to insult you on what ever message board you’re using.
• All Wapanese have at least one account on Gaia Online or DeviantART, and tend to discuss ethnicity, politics and religion as if they know what the fuck they’re talking about.
• Females have a compulsive need to wear at least one item of Hello Kitty clothing at all times.
• Wapanese want to take in the local Asian culture festival every spring, no matter how viciously dull it is.
• The average Wapanese will whine non-stop about how everyone else who professes an interest in Japanese culture is a poser. They will then throw on their favorite Asian Kung-Fu Generation CD and take out their impotent white rage on the last few sticks of Pocky they ordered from J-List.
• The truly desperate Wapanese will wear shitloads of eyeliner and fake eyelashes to make their eyes appear pointier.
• Use Japanese characters — poorly — in their LiveJournal interests.
• Wanting to go to Japan and only Japan to meet the love of their life.
• Username and/or 99.9% of their friends list’s names end in the letter “u”, “i” or “-chan”.
• A large sweatdrop will appear on their forehead when confronted about the fact that they have never even seen a Japanese person in real life, let alone ever been to Japan.
• Wapanese have an undying obsession with anime. Very often, it’s the only thing they’ll watch.
• Closely related to the rarer “Koreanophile”.
• 90% of Wapanese people have AZN or 4ZN in their screen names.
• Hanging out with asians in the arcade, playing DDR(choosing the same overplayed songs nonstop), Tekken(every weeaboo’s, emo’s, fag’s, and buttonmasher’s favorite fighting game) or Initial D. It’s not hard to spot the odd one out there.
• Usually saving up for their next trip to Japan, so they can buy a lolita dress that their fat will spill out of. Most likely will be worn with striped socks and Hot Topic $20 shoes.
• If not saving up for the lolita dress, buying the cheaply made Hot Topic version and wearing it 24/7.
• If they’re a really rich nerd, they might be carrying a little Dollfie around with them dressed up in their own meticulously hand-sewn clothing imported from New Jersey.
• They find the animu genre of “Harem Comedy” funny.
• Has an account on crunchyroll, an Jewtube wannabe site infested with Japanophiles and/or Koreanophiles.
• Their name is Jeffree Moon
• Curiously, azn weeaboos are common as well, furiously denying their weeaboo status because they are not WHITE, even though they were born and raised in America, only know English, and quite possibly are not even Azn. (See: bullshit)
• Say shit like “Best band evar is Slipknot” and “Best drumma evar is Joey Jordisson, Kawaiiiii ^^.” Look closely to see that these sentiments do not match.
• Some 20-30% of Wapanese will claim to have been into Japanese music for years upon years before discovering YouTube and hail all J-Rock, J-artists and J-bands, even watching them perform at weaboo conventions… but when it comes to singing more than 1 minute and 18 seconds of the song, Wapanese generally can’t, because they’ve heard the “song” a million times only when used as the opening theme to their favorite Anime.
• Will commit an hilarity by pointing out Wapanese internets website or myspace accounts as an example of Wapanese-ality and claim to know who did it, saying something like “I know who did this, it was [insert Wapanese fetish name],” e.g,Veronica, Erika etc.

The Wapanese test:

Answer yes or no to each of these questions. Are you a normal person or a Wapanese who needs to become a hero Let this quiz decide for you.

• Do you buy/read manga?

Yes

• Do you watch anime

Yes but not often lately

• Do you go to AZN food markets?

I live in AZN place

• Desu?

Desu!

• Do you have a Deviantart account?

Probably… I don’t remember

• If so, do you contribute lots and lots of anime fanart??

No

• Do you have at least 2 anime posters in your room?

No

• Do you argue with your friends about anime?

No

• Do you win these arguments?

No..

• Do you go to Japanese food restaurants just because they’re Japanese?

No… I like the sour vinegar rice in sushi

• Have you tried learning Japanese for a reason other than business?

No

• Was it just to watch anime?

I watch subbed ones

• Did one of your Japanese friends comment on how bad you were butchering the language? (Provided you have any in the first place.)

No?

• Have you been to an anime con?

Never been to /seen one

• Have you worked at a con?

No

• Have you ever made an AMV?

No

• Was it a Narutard (Naruto) AMV?

No

• Do you own a Narutard headband?

No; I’m poor

• Have you ever subbed anything for Dattebayo or the like, or are you attempting to study Japanese just so you can sub for some failed subbing group?

Nope

• Do you have any clothes with anime characters printed on them?

Nope

• Is this most/all of your clothing?

No

• Do you own an katana?

Nope~

• Do you use the ^_^, T_T, ., etc. expressions?

Oh, Yes ^^

• Do you have a fetish for Azn men/women?

Uh? No?

• Do you browse 2chan, 4chan, 7chan, 420chan etc?

No!

• Are you a full-blown /b/tard ?

What’s that?

• Is a cat fine too?

I prefer dog

• Have you ever enjoyed a Japanese product or thought of doing so?

Yea

• Do you own a Gaia account?

Yup

• Are the words baka, kawaii, sugoi, or Desu part of your daily vocabulary?

Nope

Source: Encyclopedia Dramatica

I guess I’m a borderline wapanese -.-

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Filed under: Anime